


Tentacle Porn, My Collection of Hi-Tech Sex Toys, The Pope

by supremesapphic (StormcageSweetie)



Series: Prompts Against Humanity [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Cards Against Humanity, Crack, F/F, Fluff, Implied Smut, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Swan Queen - Freeform, Tumblr Ask Box Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-07-26 20:49:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7589623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormcageSweetie/pseuds/supremesapphic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Regina is picky with her porn and SeaDevil is real…</p>
<p>Originally posted on tumblr for my Cards Against Humanity prompt series- "Send me a ship and I'll write a short fic based on the three random white cards I draw."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tentacle Porn, My Collection of Hi-Tech Sex Toys, The Pope

“Tentacle porn?” Regina asked, one perfect eyebrow raised in disbelief at the blonde’s words.

“Tentacle porn.” Emma confirmed. “It’s some freaky Japanese fetish stuff.”

She kept scrolling down the homepage, trying to find a video that (she hoped) Regina would approve of. Nothing fake, nothing exploiting women, nothing too vulgar- although, as Emma pointed out, porn in general seemed like something she would deem vulgar- she had a lot of specifications. Madame Mayor sure seems to know what she wants, Emma thought.

Across the bed, Regina’s face lit up.

“You know what…” She started with a wicked grin. “I should really introduce Cruella to that.”

Emma almost knocked the laptop off the bed. Regina cracked up at the look of dismay on Emma’s face, struggling to speak through her laughing.

“Cruella and Ursula……?” Emma blurted out in confusion. Out of breath, Regina could only nod. She threw her head back and gave into another round of giggles. Emma loved the way she wrinkled her nose up when she laughed.

“Are you serious? Regina, oh my God.” Emma said as she moved the laptop towards Regina.

“Dead serious.” Regina looked at what Emma had selected on the screen and shook her head ‘no.’

“They’re really together?” Emma selected another video for approval.

“Is the Pope Catholic? Yes, they’ve been together for years.” Regina’s eyes grew wide at the thumbnail, the low hum she gave to it serving as a yes.

“You’ve gotta be shitting me.”

Emma ducked as Regina swung to smack her bare shoulder, toppling onto the floor next to the bed in the process. Her skin hit the wood with a resounding thwack followed by a chorus of snorted laughing from Regina.

“Language, Miss Swan.” Regina chastised mockingly while Emma pouted from her place on the floor. “And while you’re down there, go into the bottom drawer and pick which vibrator you want to use.” She said, unable to stop laughing.

She stopped laughing when Emma began to bombard her with sex toys.

“Hey, dildos can leave bruises!”


End file.
